May 1, 2014

My Aha! Moment

I have to be honest with you... I feel a little foolish about writing this blog post. At the beginning of last month, I thought I had all my art plans figured out... I was going to create digital stamps & offer them for sale to crafters through my Etsy shop, PholkartStudio. I set about the process of creating TWO new blogs... one to feature my handcolored digistamps & another to host a monthly challenge for crafters who create handmade cards. Yes, my plans were coming together nicely!

But something just wasn't sitting right with me... and without taking time to explore my discomfort, I pushed those uneasy feelings aside & pressed on with my plan.

Midway through the month, I began to realize that I just wasn't very happy. I was feeling a constant inner push to create brand new designs. I had put on my organizer's hat & was directing my new operations, clucking over each area like a mother hen over her chicks. I had taken on the role of marketer/social media guru with new zeal & began spreading the word about my big plans... In the end, I discovered I was juggling too many balls in the air and I was feeling completely frazzled!!

Finally, I took time to listen to my heart. And I rediscovered what I probably knew all along... I missed creating colorful little pieces of original art by hand & I missed working on my illustrated art blog. As a BIG introvert, I had been pushing out beyond my comfort zone & I wasn't spending quiet time renewing my energy. Most of all, I was running out ahead of the Lord.

And so... I began the process of pulling back & deleting. No more digital stamps. No more challenge blog. I put the brakes on my daily social media. And I went back to my studio & started "makin' stuff."

Honestly, I began to feel lighter... and happier... and more "me" almost right away.  My inner self breathed a deep sigh of relief.

So here I am... a little lost, a little 'between things,' with no big plans or arty business goals. I'm just trying to show up each day with my sketchbook in hand, trying to listen with my heart to the Lord & hold whatever comes next for me very loosely.

Thank you Lord that you keep loving me even when I go off in my own direction. Thanks that you have good plans for me & I can trust you to lead me. Please help me to listen to you with my head & my heart... and to follow wherever you go.